Sweet Subservience...

(First of all: you totally copy/pasted between here and your xanga when you first started. And I updated my xanga without pasting it here....)

Well, it's nearing the holidays. With that, we've gotten the 'big talk' about what happens around the holidays. Families getting together; enjoying the presence of long-lost relatives, food, and of course...some depression. This year, my family is lacking in all parts of getting togetherness. It's a big first, and I'm not quite sure how to cope. In fact, I think the one thing I'll be getting the most out of this holiday season is the third option listed above. (I don't mean food...though I may be making some good food with friends in the area.)

I'm still beating myself up about my audition. Don't get me wrong, I'm still laughing at what happened, but given the situation and timing, I still keep thinking "What the hell am I doing?" In other news though, I did get into an 'audition only' class next semester, in which I will be collaborating with a local theatre and 11 other students on a peice to be performed at said theatre. Exciting? I think so. At least I've got that.

So, I'm not too terribly blue about the whole theatre thing. I'll get over it in any light. However, I am still quite depressed. Tests have been bad this week, which means I'll have to stop slacking. That is a pretty hard thing to cope with. That, the lack of a family gathering for the holidays, and not seeing my mom or step-dad for 2 months leads to a pretty rough holiday season. I'm sure I'll get the phone-calls though, and that should brighten things up a bit. Heck, for 10 plus years, that's one of the only ways I knew my Dad. It sounds sad, but we made it work. Who knows, maybe I'll be a rounded out individual come Spring.

Amanda will also be back in December...and boy does that have me down! :cP It'll probably feel extraordinarily weird to have her back around. After talking to eachother one to three times a week, every week, for over 16 weeks...I'm wondering if it'll be like when my Dad finally moved home. We still never saw him, as we'd grown so accustomed to not seeing him, only to talking to him every now and then. I don't foresee it being that way though, as those two relationships are completely different, (I'd never kiss my Dad like I kiss her) and the feelings are bound to come rushing back when I see her. However, it won't be the romantic moment of meeting her in the plane terminal. Instead, I picture it being something like awkwardly looking at eachother through a windshield of a car, waiting semi-patiently for whichever one of us is in the car to get out so we can hug one another. In any case, I greatly look forward to it. Until that moment though, I'm going to work my butt off....no literally. I'm packing up for hibernation I figure, but it's not been that cold around here. So, Amanda, when you get back, expect me to be a bit more cushy, but hopefully some of it will be downsized by the time you get in.

But I digress. Another nasty note, my car's battery is dead. Suck. I'll have to get that fixed down in L-town. The big nasty part is getting it down there. I'll just have to have the U of M Parking people come in and give me a jump before I head off.